I am the rock
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my tendency to want to lean into something, someone. I feel this great support when I can lean into a person or a place. You know the song, Lean on me?
Lean on Me…when you’re not strong, I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on…
Hopefully you clicked on the link, listened or are listening to the song and are now reading the rest of this blog. It’s a great song. Your heart may feel full as you sway and sing along and you may feel supported. That’s not a bad thing, that’s good. It’s all about balance and sometimes I feel like I get a little out of balance with all my leaning.
Last month I found out the yoga studio I taught at was closing and I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I lost my footing, I wanted to grab onto something and go into a big lean. Recently that’s been happening a lot. The last three months have been surreal with one disturbing scene after another on the news. They are not just stories though, this is our reality and there are moments when it feels completely overwhelming. I just keep thinking this is it, this is enough but that’s not our reality right now. George Floyd, murdered by someone who was supposed to uphold the law and protect the community. My twelve year old daughter saw this video and that hurt my heart. I made myself watch to know what she had seen. Watching George Floyd tortured, begging and begging to be allowed to breathe until he died. Endless minutes going by. Can it be real? The world has gone mad and once again it feels like I am flailing about looking for something, someone to hold onto. I had to step back from social media and news for several days. It was too much. I held tight to my loved ones truly sheltering in place because how much can one take?
Then I came back out and felt my strength and thought - I am not beaten down. I will not give up or give in to this terror, sorrow, anger, frustration, desperation, hopelessness and fear. No I will not.
So, there is this fine balance where we lean on our friends, our family, our church, our community, our leaders - just enough to feel supported and then we remember our strength, our power and we feel our two feet firmly on the ground. We move forward.
I am the rock. It’s me. The rock that I am always looking to lean on, lean into is within me. All of my support networks are there for me so that I can remember this: I am the rock. The reason I keep practicing yoga after all these years is because it helps me to feel my strength, The breath practice (pranayama) is teaching me to stay connected to my self, my essence, stay grounded and feel my purpose.
We lean into ourselves, I like to call it ‘touching base.’ A few deep breaths, maybe a hand over your heart space, we lean ‘in’ and then we move out. We move out into the world with purpose ready to find the ways we can make a difference. You may march, you may start petitions, you may run for office, you may teach the children, you may teach the adults, you may write a book, you may write an article, start a blog or a podcast, there are so many ways we can do this work. No work is too small. One foot in front of the other. Stand strong.
You are the rock
I am the rock
Be still, for just a moment , two feet on the ground, a hand on your heart, a fist high in the air. We will not be broken. Feel your steadiness and move forward with purpose.
