Stop waiting
Has the last eight plus months felt like a waiting game? Have you been waiting to get back to ________ ? Does it feel like you are not in control of life and that when you feel like there is a glimmer of hope returning the door gets slammed in your face? When shelter in place began I really had no idea how it would affect every aspect of my everyday life. I had no idea it would go on as long as it has. I honestly and naively thought it would be a few weeks maybe a month tops before we were back in the studio or back in school or back to a million other everyday things. I kept reading those posts that said ´there is no going back to normal´ and nodding my head yes but then thinking to myself surely we’re going to get back to normal?
If you don’t know this about me yet, I like routine, structure, knowing what my day is going to look like, understanding the world around me and feeling where my place is in the world. The beginning of this twilight zone time felt very scary to me. It threw my routine, my sense of security up in the air. I remember that first month being afraid each night as I just didn't know what tomorrow would bring. I would snuggle right up to my husband and hold tight to that one piece of stability and comfort and was able to go to sleep. As days, became weeks and weeks became months I found a rhythm to this new life and new world.
At the beginning I had transitioned directly from teaching in person classes to virtual classes. I had no idea at the time what I was getting myself into. I am not a tech savvy person but I took that leap of faith and have not once regretted it. Continuing to teach and practice on a daily basis has kept me feeling grounded while the world spins, shifts and fluctuates around me. I understand the importance of this practice more than ever and feel so grateful to be sharing it on a daily basis.
Last week in class I was reading from Octavia Raheem´s book Gather where she says,
The only way to see our way forward is to look straight ahead.
The only way to cross a threshold is to lift one foot, put it down, and then lift the other one.
Before you linger too much longer, knock, turn that key, or shake that knob.
Turn your gaze up. Turn your gaze as high as it can go.
Look and see.
The door is already open.
You belong inside.
How long will we wait at this threshold? Waiting for things to go back to how they were. Waiting for studios to open so we can practice again. Waiting and waiting and waiting. We need to stop waiting. The time to practice is now. The time to breathe deeply is now. The time to connect to your body is now. I want to wait too but waiting is not nourishing us. It is not helping us to feel centered. It is not making anything open up any faster. Stop waiting. Roll out your mat and come back to your practice. It's time. There are so many teachers out in Zoom-land with so many offerings. The practice is rich and deep and nourishing. I am here ready to share this practice, moving into, under, around and through this wild time ... ´the door is already open. You belong inside.
